A Bone to Pick With You
by Snowflake Obsidian
Summary: Papyrus and Mettaton have a secret relationship and the only monster who knows about it is Sans. Papyrus and Mettaton want Sans to keep it a secret because it would be bad publicity for Mettaton, which he does, at the expense of teasing and joking to make them both embarrassed. (NSFW)
1. Metallic Marrow

"M..Mettaton! What are you doing here?" He lay sensually on the tv, somewhat disappointed he didn't have a rose in his mouth and a piano to lay on. "Who let you in... What are you doing here?" The silent robot inched away from the tv and sat up, legs crossed. He grinned maniacally and jumped off the TV onto the floor.

"Oh... Papy." Mettaton looked down from the tall skeleton's boots to his eyes.

"Uhh... Mettaton... You're looking at me funny- Well, who wouldn't look at me like that. Me, the great Papyrus!"

Mettaton smirked. "Mmm. That's what I like about you. Such self interest. I wonder..."

"Wonder..?"

"Yes, I wonder if I could direct your interest and attention to me. After all, I am the underground's most famous celebrity. And well, when I see you, I see myself. And do you know what I think about when I think of myself?" Papyrus jerked his scarf to try to air his cervical vertebrae. "I think to myself," Mettaton inched closer, "'what a sexy robot. How wonderful would it be to try to please a robot this good looking?"

Papyrus looked at the sexy robot, inching closer to his face every second. "Mettaton... I understand you'd like to be with the future royal guard, but I'm afraid I won't be of use for I, the Great Papyrus, have no skin or lips to kiss or please you with."

"However, my dear Papy, you have big, long, large teeth... Your sexy bones... I can just imagine how you could make my wires short circuit." Papyrus began to blush. "Well, my Papy, I can see how despite your lack of skin, you can manage to impress me. I do wonder what other surprises you have in store for me." With this, Papyrus began to show a little something. "Oohh Yesss... oh Papy you're so quiet."

"M-mettaton... I... Well... What is the appropriate response to this... umm... surprise visit?"

"Well," responded Mettaton while stroking his hair, "You could reciprocate what I'm proposing..."

Papyrus stared at Mettaton's lips and thought about how those metallic crevices could do to him. "Mettaton, I believe I'm not quite sure what you're insinuating. Perhaps a visual refresher could do me aid." Papyrus flirtily lifted his eyebrow to show Mettaton how he wanted to be treated.

"Ohh... So that _is_ how you want to play..."


	2. Bonetrouble

Papyrus went upstairs to check if Sans was in his room. No rainbow dust blotches coming from under his room. Papyrus exhaled and smiled. "Ohh Mettaton," sang the joyous skeleton.

"Yes, Darling?"

Why don't you come upstairs and we can do whatever happens on said... extreme dates..."

Mettaton gave a half grin with his right lip and lifted his left eyebrow all while circling his shoulders. "Oh, Papy, I can't wait to see what kind of tricks you've got up your sleeve. He walked sensually up the stairs, swinging his hips side by side. "Why don't you show me what secrets you possess," he called out.

"Come upstairs and find out."

After walking up the stairs, Mettaton insisted that Papyrus went inside his room first. "Please, after you, gorgeous." Papyrus walked in and as Mettaton followed, Mettaton slammed Papyrus against the wall by grabbing his Shoulder pads and ramming them to the wall.

Afterwards, Mettaton licked the left side of Papyrus' jaw to the prominent cheek bone. Papyrus shuddered and studdered each time he tried to say anything. "M-M-Mettaton. You're making me feel very... tight..."

"Tight where?"

"You kn-know..."

"Papyrus, darling, I'm afraid you'll just have to show me where. Your words aren't coming through." Papyrus shakingly took Mettaton's right hand and guided it towards the bulge of his pants. "Oh? And what's this?"

Mettaton kneeled as Papyrus stood. He took the underwear part of his costume and brought it down to reveal a huge, blue cock. "Wowie, Mettaton..." said Papyrus. "Never has anyone seen the Great Papyrus' package." Mettaton looked up to see Papyrus immensely blushing. He shook his nose to make contact with the magical cock. He licked from the base to the shaft to the tip... slowly. Very slowly. Papyrus inched his head back and opened his mouth to let out a soft moan. As Mettaton increased the rate of the licks per minute, Papyrus' moans became louder and louder.

"Ahh- Mettaton! Please, use your entire robotic mouth. Your tongue is only pleasuring one side of my large dick." Mettaton raised his eyebrow at Papyrus and took him by the scarf. "Mettaton, what are you doing?!" He propped him on the racecar bed.

"Nice furniture," Mettaton said. "What a shame, we will have destroyed it by the time we finish our little session." With that, Papyrus' cock twitched and became more erect, whilst thinking about the future.

"But Mettaton, breaking all of my furniture is impossible-"

"Improbable, dearest. And by my calculations, I say it nears to the more probable side for I'm going to have a really, really good time with you."

Mettaton sat on top of Papyrus' crotch and grinded on top of it. Up to a certain point, the grinding became thrusting and Mettaton's hips swayed fast yet gracefully. He then stopped to give a heavy and moist fellacio session, trying a few techniques he had come up with. His slurps were loud, but not as loud as Papyrus' moans. "Yesss, Mettaton," he would say. "Suck me harder... Oh!" All the moaning drove Mettaton even more insane for the desire of fucking Papyrus as hard as he could.

"Papy, please get on your hands and knees." Papyrus stared at Mettaton for a bit before following through with what he ordered. Mettaton stared intently at the hole between his sacrum and pubic synthesis. He wanted to know what it felt like to have Papyrus surround his large, metallic cock.

"Yo bro," Called out a voice. Both Papyrus and Mettaton began to sweat and try to hide the act as quickly as possible. "Have you seen my-"

There stood the shorter skeleton with a deeper voice, but without a word to say. He shut the door and walked to his room in disbelief.


	3. Excuses You Might Say if You Fight Sans

Papyrus got up, trying to adjust his pants to make the magical cock not show. "Sans! Sans!" he called out.

Before he had a chance to leave his room, Mettaton held onto his shoulder, "Papy, beauty, what are you going to say? 'Hey Sans it's not what it looks like'?"

"I... don't know what to say. But I have faith in myself, for I am a wonderful skeleton. Something should come to mind when I see him."

Mettaton kissed his nose and let go of his shoulder for Papyrus to talk to Sans.

"Sans!"

"Look bro, I didn't see anything, don't worry."

"Really, though Sans! I'm hoping you'll keep to your word!" Suddenly, everything went dark.

"Are-Are you trying to fight me, Pap?"

"If this is what must be done."

"Welp, all right then."

Papyrus grabbed a few bones and rolled them to where Sans was, so he stepped out of the way.

"BROTHER YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" exclaimed Papyrus.

"Why not? I'm not just going to stay put and get hit by the bones."

"BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW FIGHTS WORK! HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT ANYWAYS? WHEN SOMEONE ATTACKS ME, I FIND MYSELF UNABLE TO MOVE!"

"Well... uhh... I ate some of your spaghetti earlier. I think it gave me like a special power."

Papyrus blushed. "You really thought my spaghetti was great?!" Sans nodded his head, hoping the sort of compliment would end the fight. "Very well, brother, I'll end the fight then. I suppose, with my great spaghetti, you have an unfair advantage. But then again, would someone as great as me have to take the unfairness?"

Sans cut off Papyrus before he changed his mind about the fight. "Hey Bro, I promise I didn't see anything." Everything then went back to normal.

"Well... If you say so. However, it is imperative that it stays that way. Think of how my reputation will be if people find out I'm in a relationship with Mettaton! He's a celebrity! No one will think I'm humble, that my standards are too high!"

"Bro, look, I'm not going to tell anyone about it."

"Thank you, brother."

"So royal guard, huh?"

"Yes..?"

"You'll have to wear armor like Undyne, right?"

"Where are you going with this, brother?"

"Well, what I'm trying to say is that despite you not being in the royal guard now, I'm hoping you'll use protection now anyways."

"Sans leave!"

"What, I'm not being particularly punny right now."

"You are quite literally making puns right now. Now really, don't tell anyone."

"Me? Puns? No, and don't worry, if anyone from Snowdin asks about why Mettaton is here, I'll just give them the cold shoulder-"

"Sans-"

"-and tell them to grow a spine."

"Sans, leave."

"Haha, alright. I'll leave. Bye, bro."

"Farewell. I shall be... uh... hanging out until your arrival. Go to Grillby's, have fun!"

Sans winked, and left to Grillby's. Papyrus turned around to see Mettaton staring at him.

"Well, hello there," Mettaton said seductively.

"H-Hi, Mettaton," studdered Papyrus, knowing that Mettaton would want to continue where they left off.

"Come here!" And with that, the horny robot grabbed Papyrus' scarf and pulled him closer and kissed him passionately on Papyrus' teeth and cheekbones. "I love the way you feel, Papy." Mettaton shimmied his shoulders and took a couple steps back and made a "come hither" motion with his pointer finger, which then caused Papyrus to blush intensely.

They both went upstairs and Mettaton shoved the door as he licked the inner eye orbital of Papyrus, causing him to revive the fallen cock.


End file.
